Don't shush me, shushy

"To have found God and still to pursue Him is the soul’s paradox of love, scorned indeed by the too easily satisfied religionist, but justified in happy experience by the children of the burning heart." A.W. Tozer – The Pursuit of God

He goes on to talk of Moses, who already had a friendship with God, asking God to show him His glory. Of David, whose soul longs, even pants, for the living God. Of Paul, who laid aside everything, counting it rubbish, to KNOW God. Then goes on to say this:

"How tragic that we, in this dark day, have had our seeking done for us by our teachers. Everything is made to center upon the initial act of ‘accepting’ Christ and we are not expected thereafter to crave any further revelation of God to our souls. We have been snared in the coils of spurious logic, which insists that ‘if we have found Him, we need no more seek Him.’ This is set before us as the last word in orthodoxy, and it is taken for granted that no Bible-taught Christian ever believed otherwise. Thus the whole testimony of the worshiping, seeking, singing church on that subject is crisply set aside. The experiential heart-theology of a grand army of fragrant saints is rejected in favor of a smug interpretation of Scripture which would certainly have sounded strange to an Augustine, a Rutherford or a Brainerd."

"In the midst of this great chill there are some, I rejoice to acknowledge, who will not be content with shallow logic. They will admit the force of the argument, and then turn away with tears to hunt some lonely place and pray, ‘O God, show me Thy glory.’ They want to taste, to touch with their hearts, to see with their inner eyes the wonder that is God."

I want more than I already have. And, to be perfectly honest, I am starting to feel shushed. I am starting to hear phrases like ‘we don’t have to ask for the presence of God, because he is everywhere, he’s already here.’ Which, of course, is true. He is already here. However, these words are not spoken with an overwhelming, awe inspired sense of reverence (which would be the result of him actually being ‘here’). Rather, they are said with a ‘smug-ish’, theoligical-ish, non-seeking, shushing kind of voice that leaves one feeling the ungrateful fool for longing for more, for thinking that if this is this all there is, then it’s not enough. I’m sure I’ll be told that I’ve lost the big picture, Jesus died and rose again, for me, do I really think I can ask for more? I’ll be told that I already have everything I need for life and godliness. Again, not with the awe and the wonder that statement should inspire, but with the ‘that settles it, now quiet down and quit asking for more’ tone. I’ll be told I’m trying to get into a room I’m already in, which is, again, true! It’s been a few years since I’ve heard these shushers. It makes me sad to hear them again.

Thing is, I am not at all satisfied with good theology. I can hear it, agree with it, be thankful for it, and still at the end of the day say ‘Well, that was nice, but … I’m hungry, where’s the food?" Maybe it’s like looking at a menu, and reading a menu, and touring the kitchen, and talking to the chef. Maybe I’m in the restaurant, but really, when can I eat? (But I’m not allowed to ask that question… it’s not polite…)
Because I have found Him, I will seek Him. Nothing else satisfies. Is good theology good at all if it doesn’t invite us into a constant quest for more?

There is a difference between God being everywhere, and God BEING HERE. I know. Because He’s BEEN HERE! I’ve been overwhelmed. I’ve been weak in the knees. I’ve trembled in the presence. I’ve tasted. I’ve seen. The Lord, He IS good. But it’s been too long since I’ve let him in. It’s been my fault. I’ve been asking with my mouth, but holding off with my heart. … too busy, too lazy, too easily shushed (I’ve tried to blame it on the shushers), too shy, that’s probably it, too shy…. He’s very intimate…