snowed under

"How many blessed truths have gotten snowed under. People believe them, but they are just not being taught, that is all. Here was a man and his wife, a very fine intelligent couple from another city. They named the church to which they belonged, and I instantly said, "That is a fine church!"

'"Oh, yes," they said, "but they don't teach what we came over here for." They come over because they were ill and wanted to be scripturally anointed for healing. So I got together two missionaries, two preachers and an elder, and we anointed them and prayed for them. If you were to go to that church where they attended and say to the preacher, "Do you believe that the Lord answers prayer and heals the sick?" he would reply, "Sure, I do!" He believes it, but he doesn't teach it, and what you don't believe strongly enough to teach doesn't do you any good."

A.W. Tozer

OK, that was weird!

So... I tried posting the "either/or" post and it didn't seem like it was working, so I clicked publish post again. It goes to the screen with the little dial and says it X% finished posting...then 100%...you know... So I go to look at it...make sure it's good and stuff and there, about halfway through my post is a picture of a woman I've never seen before and a lovely little paragraph in French. The rest of my post is no where to be seen. Weird huh?? I deleted it. I should have left it on. I wonder if she got the rest of my post?? I wonder if she 'views blog'? before she walks away? Good thing I learned how to save in Word first.

either/or type God??

I’m so excited!!

Since about May or maybe June this year I’ve been praying and asking God for direction about something. Tuesday I finally got my answer… and I love it!

A few years back, hubby and I had the opportunity to take an evening course called the Alpha Course. If you’ve haven’t heard about it…look it up on Google or something. It’s awesome. Take the course if you possibly can. It’s a ‘from the beginning’ type course on Christianity. “Alpha,” being the first letter of the alphabet, it stands for beginners. The only thing this course assumes is that a) you have a brain, and, b) you have questions about God and Jesus and Christianity.

Anyway, we were completely and totally impressed. We’ve been long time Christians but neither of us had ever heard such a wonderfully comprehensive, yet simple and all inclusive explanation of the Good News of Jesus Christ. Of course, it only just breaks the surface of the amazing depths there are in knowing relationship with God, but it does it so well.

After taking the course once we both felt that we’d like to become facilitators (small discussion group leaders). We did this several times…six times, maybe. The thing about the Alpha course is, that you’re not meant to take it over and over and over, but the bonds, and the friendships formed in these small group discussions are surprisingly strong, and there is a sense of loss at the end of the course if you don’t continue to meet.

The vision of the people who spear head this thing is that once you’ve taken the course, you’ll ‘help’ lead the next time, ‘lead’ the third time, and then invite you’re group home or whatever to continue discovering ‘life in Christ’. If all goes well, there will be a continuous supply of new people to keep running the course.

Eventually, hubby and I realized that some of the people who were taking the course over and over, were not really doing so because they loved the course so much, but because they loved the people. They loved being able to talk about this new ‘relationship’ thing with someone who understands. They love not being made to feel stupid when they asked a question about something they didn’t understand. The down side to this comfort, and familiarity though, is that someone new coming in, would feel like they were the ‘new guy coming in’. We decided to invite this comfortable, familiar group of people to our home to start a ‘Care Group’.

This was a very good idea. Wonderful actually. Even though it has been both good and wonderful, however, in May I started to feel restless. I started to miss the ‘leading edge’ sort of feeling I had at the Alpha Course. I love meeting new people. I love watching people hear for the first time that God actually loves them. I love watching people ‘get’ that Jesus is about relationship, not rules; friendship, not religion. I love seeing people that I’ve prayed for for years come through the doors to the first meeting and trying to make them feel at ease.

So I started asking God about it. Lead the care group? Or start another Alpha Course? No answer. Just restless. More asking…more waiting. Our care group naturally took a break over the summer, so I asked the gang to pray for us, that we would make the right decision. I heard someone say once that “good” is the enemy of ‘best”. So even though the care group was a ‘good’ thing…it may not be the ‘best’ thing.

All summer long I was still hungry for the Alpha thing, but hubby was much more inclined to stay with the care group, and definitely not interested in doing both. So, I took my cue from him. I called up the group and told them we were ready to go again. Again I prayed. If we’re going to meet for a year, and I’m meant to ‘lead’ people to a deeper understanding of the grace of God, and His relationship with them, then I needed a plan, a vision, a book, …something. Again, no answer. Meanwhile, three of our people inform me they can no longer come. Hmm…room for more! More praying. A random conversation with a guy asking if I knew of any small groups that were meeting where he and his new wife could learn about God. Well, actually, yes I do know of a group…why don’t you come to ours? I don’t really know this guy or his wife except to smile at them in the coffee line at church. They agree to come, oh, and by the way…can they bring a friend? Absolutely. Also, long time groupie has a girl friend who has always worked nights, who now does not work nights and also wants to come to our care group. Wonderful!

More praying…still no idea what to study, what to plan. Tuesday night comes, the house fills with people, hugs all around like a long lost reunion of very close friends. Newbies are greeted and made to feel welcome. Still no plan. I know! I’ll just ask a few ‘non-threatening’ questions around the group to get to know each other. Good plan… Turns out that one of my questions was not so ‘safe’. One of the newbies was brave enough to share something really vulnerable. It always surprises me how willing people are to bare their souls when they feel it’s safe to do so. After about an hour of wonderful conversation, including both laughter and tears, one of the girls said she was so relieved that we had chosen to stick with the care group. She’d been afraid we’d go off to do Alpha again, cause we’re both so wired that way. The word Alpha came up and the whole room was a-buzz. One couple said that if we’d done Alpha again, they would have come again. They had already talked about it. The girlfriend of the long-time guy said she’d always wanted to do Alpha, but her former late shift work made it not possible. The newbies asked “what’s Alpha?” to which, all of the long-timers responded with glowing endorsements. Eventually the girlfriend of the long-time guy couldn’t take it anymore. She asked if we couldn’t please take the Alpha Course here in the care group?

My heart soared. Isn’t that just like God? I think I have to choose between two really good things, and He says “Here you go, you can have both! It’ll be all good!” I always feel like He’s an ‘either/or’ type God, but He’s not. He’s a ‘you can have it all’ kind of God. How fun!

Puppies

So, we had our first litter of puppies. July 13 was the big day. Five little fur balls. I've never seen newborn puppies before, so that was pretty cool. The mom has been a very good mom. Thank goodness no health problems or vet bills.

They turn 9 weeks old on Thursday, so we figure it's time to put them up for sale. An ad in the Herald, and on in the bargain finder, a web-site with pictures ought to do it. So we get a call yesterday from a guy who just has to have the little black female. He's from Saskatoon. He'll pay airfare. Airfare??? Excuse me?? Yikes! $100 bucks for the airfare, $50 for the kennel, another trip to the vet to make sure it's "safe for travel". Between vet and airport and pet store, about 5 hours on the road. How far is it to Saskatoon??

We're asking him if he'll meet us half-way....

Today I get a call from a couple in Calgary. Guess which puppy they want....the little black female!! What's up with that?? I told them she was spoken for and they came out anyway...but without any money (don't want to make a snap decision, you know)...to see if there was a second best. They couldn't agree on one, so are driving back home to think about it. An hour here, and an hour back...twice. They're hoping the airfare guy will bale out in the mean time, cause they just love the little black female.

Wonder how long it'll take to sell five puppies....

Monday morning, heh? I'm feeling very random at the moment, very undisciplined. There are many things I should be doing, most of which I don't want to do, or which are not pressing enough for me to buckle down to. I came into the office because the desks in here are unusable, due to the clutter and disorganization...but no one really piles stuff up on the keyboard...so it's usually good to go. I was gonna just 'quick check the e-mail', and then the blogs, and now this...

It froze really hard last night, which, for a gardener, should be a very sad thing. The thing is that this year my garden never really did much of anything spectacular. The perennnials bloomed out way too fast because it was so incredibly hot, and there was so little rain. And the annuals, who usually like it hot...just never took off this year. The last few years I've started my own plants inside and in my little greenhouse, but this year I bought them all...and they just never, ever looked good. So actually, now, I'm kindof glad it froze. When it gets a little warmer out today I'll go out and start cleaning stuff up. Usually I cover stuff night after night until it finally snows on the stuff and then I clean it up in spring. It might be nice to have it cleaned up in fall...

I'm really struggling with apathy these last few months.... Apathy sucks. I said in the last post I'd tell you what I had learned about myself...but that's part of the problem, right there. I've been focused way too much on myself of late. Self is a really hard master. I've learned that my thoughts, my reactions, my behaviour of late have been heavily salted with selfishness... It's getting old. It's a very negative place to be, even though so much in my life right now is positive.

I think I should go get some work done...and there are some books on this desk of mine that look interesting...that are calling my name...Will I work, or will I read?? Guess we'll see....

anti-virus blues

Whatever happened to the 'long dog-days of summer," what happened to afternoon naps, to suntanning for hours and reading books? These were some of the fringe benefits of being a full time stay at home mom. I could actually have all the housework done, the laundry done, and a bowl of yeast dough rising on the counter while I lay spawled across the bed in a blissful time of sweet unconciousness. Not that I really cared if the housework was done - never been real good at that. Maybe that's what's changed. Maybe now I have a harder time napping, or reading, or whatever when the work's not all done...and I'm discovering again, for the thousandth time that really, the work is never all done.

I'm longing for a nap today, but actually, I'm writing instead...what's up with that? I fell asleep on the couch last night at 11. Then my eldest came home at 11:30 and woke me, which is OK, then I dozed off again for like 2 minutes...you know...the really, really dopey kind of dozing off, when I vaguely heard my youngest calling me from the computer downstairs. Apparently 11:35pm. is the imperitive time in which I must re-subscribe to my anti-virus program which had been (un-be-knownst to me) expired since the middle of August. Have you ever had to subscribe to an anti-virus program? Of course you have...you have a computer after all... Is it difficult to do when you're fully awake? Cause it sure is tricky when you're half asleep. We got about half way into it, between internet gliches, computer freeze-ups, shut downs and re-starts when my youngest hits the shut down button and declares that she doesn't have time for this and needs to go to sleep! (That would have been a good idea half an hour ago) I, however, feel that I have too much invested in this process. I've read probably twenty screens of information that I'm lucky if I understand 20% of, and feel it can't be long now...I'll just finish it up. It took me a full hour and a half. If you do the math correctly that puts me ready for bed a little after 1a.m.. Add to that that it's cold downstairs and I must have been a lovely deep shade of blue by the time I came upstairs and it took nearly an hour for me to warm up enough to fall asleep.

So, I'm tired, and I'm feeling sorry for myself...and, I've learned something about myself, which I will write more about in a later post, 'cause...I'm tired, and I'm not typing very well, and the laundry's not done, and I don't know what to make for supper....and....