wholly surrendered

At the cross you beckon me
Draw me gently to my knees
I am lost for words, I'm
lost in love
Sweetly broken
Wholly surrendered...

These are the words I sang this morning, beautifully arranged, beautifully sung, such a priveledge to worship, to sing for, one who loves me so completely, the one who went to the cross, who gave his life... I sing these words again and again as the song builds, and relaxes, and slowly the words of the song soak over me. They start to speak to me. It's easy some days just to sing along... but that's not really the point of 'worshipping'. The songs are meant to be prayers, real communication with a real God, who hears and knows the thoughts and intentions of my heart, and yet somehow loves to hear me put them into words. It's such a mystery. Usually, He speaks to me, more than I speak to him, which is crazy to think about... profound...that the God of the universe whispers, inaudible words, into my soul. Not just my soul, but everyone's, anyone's who will listen.

It's the 'Wholly surrendered' line that was getting to me today. He does beckon me, he does draw me gently to my knees, I am often lost for words, lost in love, I have been sweetly broken, many times. Sweetly broken is a paradox. A mystery that brings more and more freedom. Sweetly broken... but, wholly surrendered? Am I? Not very often...

Surrender is a moment by moment thing. Decision by decision. Priority by priority. If I am wholly surrendered, then my priorities are wholly surrendered to Gods. I wonder how many times this summer my priorities were perfectly in line with His.

"We surrender ourselves wholly to God in prayer and faith, so as not to think our own thoughts, and not to hold our own lives as a prize, but as possessing nothing save what He bestows. Then He reveals to us the glorious and blessed life which has been prepared for us by the blood." Andrew Murray.... again....